Yesterday and what have yet to come

Yesterday I went to Cruella in Montreal in order to buy some new clothing. Every time I go there, it feels like I am entering in another dimension. I must admit that I was amazed by the people I seen there… they were so colorful.

So anyway, I brought a lot of new clothing since we were the Boxing Day and there was a 30% reduction on everything. I brought a new long coat, black pant & shirt, a fine amulet and a high hat. The high hat is by far the most eccentric piece of clothing I ever had.

Tomorrow I plan to check for my eyebrow piercing if the shop is open than meet with my beloved for the very first time in the evening. I certainly hope that she will like my new clothing and will be able to recognize me. Less than 18 hours before I will finally meet my dearest Marie-Helene… needless to say that I can’t wait to see her!

Nevertheless, my next objective will be to find what to do with my hair. I like the black coloration, though the next time I intend to add red lock in order to give some more life to it… however the main dilemma is about the hair style that goes with it. I honestly have no idea what to do with it… perhaps I will need to go to another barbershop and see if anything grabs my attention.

Another place I would like to go over the next week is X20 – Rio in Montreal. Mostly because I need some new sturdy black boots, as my current one is in very sad state, but I might find some other things of interest, who know? I certainly could use some additional pants and shirts. Perhaps even my lovely little mischievous sprite will enjoy going out there with me. *Smiles*

If I can get everything that I am looking for I certainly will be very happy but nothing will make me happier than seeing my pretty fallen angel.

Can’t wait to see you dearest.
XXX

Mind & Perception, a scary Reality?

Wednesday I hear really strange noise during the night in my room then had some strange and scary vision projected in my mind. That the first time it happens when I was really conscious. It lasted for about 1 minute and I must admit that I was kind of scared, like a kid barely being able to check over his blanket! *laughs*

Somehow, I wanted to test something yesterday night before falling asleep. This state is called hypnagogia, which cover the transitional state between wakefulness and sleep. I was kind of imposing myself with scary thought as I selected creepy theme before entering this state. What resulted was really frightening thought, yet very realistic to a point that I could feel like I was being paralysed by this fear.

I was in a creepy village and some kind of blue spectre was hunting me. I was hiding in the darkness; my back turned to it and every time I wanted to see what that creature was, I was like… petrified. I was overwhelmed by terrible fear and all I could do was to turn my back so I could not see it even if I know that it was there.

Somehow, I did know that it was only some thoughts projected by my mind but it was like I had no control over it. It can be quite terrifying to see that our mind can have so much power and control on our perception of the reality. After all, no matter how crazy dreams look like, they often look very realist for us. It’s like that we forgot all senses of logic as our mind rule our perception.

Here what Wikipedia say about perception and reality: “The brain, with which you perceive the world, is made up of neurons “buzzing” at 50 cycles a second, while the world as it exists in reality, is made up of electro-magnetic radiation oscillating at 500 trillion cycles a second. This means that the human brain cannot nearly keep up with the ‘realness of reality.’ To compensate, the brain takes a preconceived idea about the object, then uses those preconceived ideas to see whether or not they are there. The problem with attaining an accurate perception of reality stems from the fact that humans are unable to understand new information, without the inherent bias of their previous knowledge. The extent of a person's knowledge creates their reality as much as the truth, because the human mind can only contemplate that which it has been exposed to. When objects are viewed without understanding, the mind will try to reach for something that it already recognizes, in order to process what it is viewing. That which most closely relates to the unfamiliar from our past experiences, makes up what we see when we look at things that we don't comprehend.”

Taking this into consideration… I often wonder how many things aren’t "real" in our reality… and what about those that are imperceptibles? The margin between what is real and not seems pretty big. How false is our understanding of the reality?

Lyric: Jacks Lament

Today, I will present you the lyric of Jacks Lament, from Nightmare before Christmas, an excellent animation made by Tim Burton.

There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shriek
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet

Yet year after year, it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known

I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France

And since I am dead, I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearean quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears

Qu’est-ce que l’Amour?

L’amour peut être ressentie de différente manière pour tous et chacun. Alors comme vous le constaterez, il est très difficile de décrire ce sentiment.

Pour ma part, je dirais que c’est un sentiment qui démontre une certaine affinité entre deux personnes. Le fait d’être compris et accepter pour qui nous sommes par l’autre. Le sentiment de vouloir partager notre énergie et plaisir avec cette personne. De vouloir l’intégrer à part entière dans notre petit univers égocentrique. Le sentiment de vouloir partager ces peines et bonheurs.

Je croie que l’aspect physique, psychologique ainsi que le partage d’intérêts sont tous très important dans une relation durable. Lorsque deux personnes ce retrouve combler par ces aspects, il est fort probablement qu’un sentiment d’amitié s’établisse avec le temps. C’est le maillon faible de ces 3 aspects qui risque le plus de brimer cette relation à long terme.

Pour certain d’entre nous, l’amour peut complètement changer la perception de notre monde, lui donnant une nouvelle raison d’être. Pour d’autre, elle ouvre de nouvelle portes qui avant nous semblais fermé. Plus un partenaire s’investie dans une relation, plus il sera dévaster par une rupture. Il ne faut jamais oublier que comme bien des choses, l’amour est éphémère. Il ne faut rien prendre pour acquis, il est très important de la chérir et de l’entretenir.

Les amoureux auront souvent tendance à ce sacrifié au bien fait de leur partenaire. Toutefois, cela cache souvent un double jeu qui est celui des attentes. Ceci est souvent fait inconsciemment, plus une personne ce sacrifie, plus ces attentes vont augmenter. Par le fait même, si l’autre partenaire ne répond pas a ces attentes, les déceptions risque fortement de ce produire.

Un deuxième point à entrevoir est celui de l’investissement. Chaque fois que vous investissez de l’énergie dans une relation, il est important de profiter de ce moment et de ne pas investir quelques choses que vous n’êtes pas prêt à perdre. Cela invite uniquement le regret et le sens de la culpabilité lorsque les choses ce complique.

Quand à moi, je suis fortement amoureux de ma admirable petite succube, Marie-Hélène. Maitresse de mes péchés et tentations. Mon tendre amour, tout ce que je fais c’est parce que je le désire. Et présentement, il n’y a rien que je désire plus que de t’avoir à mes côté.

Ton p’tit diable qui t’aime tendrement.
XXX

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone, hope you will enjoy it and have some good times. I wish that all your dreams will come true. Those moments of joy are so few so try to get as much pleasure from it as you can.

Hope you will all be able to celebrate with those you love. As for me, I will be waiting for that special someone, my little horned angel that I cherish so much.

I love you Marie-Helene!
XXX

Perdu dans les Ténèbres

Vide, noirceur, ténèbres… Pourquoi sont-ils toujours-la ? On dirait qu’ils guettent chacun de mes pas, attendant le moment opportun pour attaquer. Mais pourquoi… est-ce la même chose pour chacun de nous ?

Des fois je me dis que je pense beaucoup trop. Je ne suis pas plus sage, et surtout pas plus cultivé que personne mais j’ai probablement trop de temps pour moi. Cela peut sembler étrange... la plupart du monde n’a tout simplement pas assez de temps à consacrer à eux même. Enfin, je suis habitué à marcher à l’inverse.

Si vous êtes la lumière, alors je serais votre ombre. Si le monde marchais plus dans les ténèbres, peut être que je marcherais vers la lumière. Les possibilités d’être sont tellement grandes qu’il est facile de s’y perdre.

On ne sait pas toujours où l’on va ou si nous suivons le bon chemin. Des fois, nous rencontrons des points de repère ou des guides. Ces guides nous aident à nous diriger mais nous serons toujours l’unique maitre de notre navire. Vous savez pourquoi il est si difficile de naviguer ? Parce que la plupart du temps, nous ne savons pas où nous allons. Un bateau ne va jamais très loin sans son capitaine.

Où vais-je… pourquoi… et que faire lorsque je vais arriver à ma destination ? Touts ces questions peuvent être répondues que par nous même. Est-ce de l’hypocrisie que de croire en ces choses qui me semble si irréel ?

Il est important de profiter du moment présent, mais est-il possible que même les portes grande ouvertes, aucun plaisir ne peut être ressenti durant ce moment… que malgré les multiples possibilités, rien ne semble plaisant ? Si oui, pouvons nous combattre ce sentiment de vide qui nous envahi… est t’il nécessaire d’être triste afin de ressentir ce bonheur ?

C’est durant ces moments de tristesse que j’ai tendance à plus facilement m’abandonner à l’univers qui m’entour. Pourquoi chercher un sens à tout cela alors qu’il n’y en a aucun ? Cela fait partie de la nature humaine que de chercher à donner une raison d’être a tout ce qui nous entour.

Plus j’y pense et plus j’ai l’impression de vivre à l’envers de notre univers. Ce que le monde en on peur, m’intrigue. Ce que le monde déteste, j’adore. Ce que je monde aime, je le hais. Mais pourquoi… d’où viens cette attraction aux ténèbres si fantaisiste… cette force aussi contradictoire... et cette haine au conventionnalisme ?

Tant de questions et pourtant si peu de réponses…

Tic Tac

Tic tac, tic tac,
Time is slowly moving forward.
None can see what is waiting onward.

Always I think about you my dear.
The beat of my heart you might hear.

In this place as dark as ebon.
Perhaps you will be my boon.

Alone I walk like a ghost.
Looking for you, to be my host.

Will your presence be my relieve?
That is what I want to believe.

Full of light, you fill my heart.
Together we will walk on this earth.

Tic tac, tic tac,
Little by little time is moving on.
But to me it looks like an eon…

- Fred
Your little devil, but more importantly, your lover.

XXX

The Dream

I am lying down on my bed in my lightless room, eyes closed I am lost in my thought. Thought about you Marie-Helene, sweet love of my heart.

Mischievous, yet caring for those she loves; she is like a dream coming true. I dream of her gentle touch over my skin, her lip brushing my neck until they reach mine… We stare at each other, our hearts beating stronger each second. With my hand, I slowly caress her naked skin as our bodies become warmer. I smiles shyly, looking at her, as if I was waiting for an approval…

I could dream about you forever…Or perhaps no, as I would much prefer to meet you! *Sighs softly* Some would say that I am crazy or foolish… That is right; I am crazy about you my love.

Is that black magic? Perhaps you charmed me? I would not care anyway. Come and kiss me, dearest! Let’s unite, together we will crush those that dare to stand on our way!

The world that we are living in

Sometime I wonder what is wrong with being egoist, giving love to those that I really love and merit it instead of loving everyone, which seem more like being hypocrite to oneself than anything else.

I do think that ethic code is very important, as it can help to find and achieve our objectives and determine what is good and bad for us. However, thou should be free from its morality code when taking such decision as it will only hinder him.

In this world where the strong crush the weak, we have to get back on our feet and defend ourselves. It’s easy to give up or discredit someone else, but no amount of wish, hope or prayer will resolve a problem or obstacle. Only through actions you shall achieve them.

Loving the world is nice and all, but as your spree your love to everyone, it will only bring you self-deceive as peoples will slowly get what they want from you. It’s a fact that “evil” humans will get away with their sins while innocents will suffer.

Free yourself from the chains of deceive and illusion. Learn to live for yourself, your love, and your friends.

A world by us, for us

Dear succubus that I love more than anything else. Come and free me from this lonely place. My heart is all your and together we will fly toward new horizon. No sorrows shall stop me from loving you.

Together we will defeat any obstacles that show on our path. Like explorers, we shall discover the pleasure of light and darkness for nothing will frighten us. A new world, a new universe, made by you and me.

Like queen and king, hand in the hand, we will live happily in our little world. A world of fantasy where the most intense sensations and greatest pleasures will be felt by us.

My lovely succubus, you are my phantasm, my goddess; and forever I shall love you for I am all your.

I love you Marie-Helene.
xoxox

The Waiting

I am waiting, in fact I always been waiting… for you my sweet muse. To come and meet me in this dark place. The darkness is deeper and cold without your warm. Will your light guide me through this obscurity?

I travel alone in this barren world. Each second seem like an eternity. Will you hear my call, my dark angel? As I walk, I feel like a shadow is stalking me... It’s slowly getting closer. Perhaps it’s you, the one I always waited for?

I know that you are here, waiting for the right time to meet me. Like a child, I am getting impatient. Where are you pretty succubus? My soul is waiting for you, will you take it?

I look at the moon, the only source of light in this darkness. I know that I must continue, that I must move on, but it’s hard. I keep thinking about you, your pretty face, your smile, your warm touch on my cold skin.

I heard a whisper in the night: Soon, soon we will meet. But what will happen after? I don’t want to lose you ever! Just thinking about that make me cry. The voice speaks again: We will be together forever, but for now you must be patient my love.

I try to clean the tears on my heart. I will wait…. For I always been waiting for you… My love.

Ophélie, La Française

Ophélie is at the same time a good friend and my worse nemesis at work! *Grins* We have such a love/hate relationship that some time we find it very funny. Ophélie come from France and got a bad attitude to correct me every time I write in French so I decided to write this text in English!

Ophélie now live in Quebec with her lover. She is still a bit far away from my home so I cannot see her as often as I would like but that certainly won’t stop me to come at least once per year. Speaking of which, she should come see me next time… why I am always the one that is travelling?!

Anyway… Ophélie is really nice once she got to know you; otherwise you are best to be careful. If you see what she is doing to her cat, I can’t imagine what she would do to a human! *Smirk* Oh my, she will so kill me when she will read that… *Look around* Sincerely, she love her cats!

Since I am still alive, I will continue! Seriously, she has a lot of good points. She is a hard worker, persevering and very perfectionist that will do anything to bother her colleague. She is very knowledgeable about pretty much anything and I love to talk with her about all and nothing.

Her weakness? Sushi and World of Warcraft! *laughs* She is really a fine girl, with very interesting interest. She likes to laughs but know how to be serious when required. She is very professional at her work but don’t seem to sleep enough!

Go to bed already! Sleep and relax, you really merit it.

Take care!

XXX

Me, I and myself

I am such an egoist that I always do actions or ideas for my own pleasure. I live for myself, not for others. I might look like a weird animal to those that aren’t used to that. I am evil? According to our moral standard, yes. But is evil really evil?

The seven deadly sins, according to Christian Church, are: greed, pride, envy, anger, gluttony, lust and sloth. But, are they really “sins”? If yes, then I am a pretty bad sinner, and I am probably not the only one. Not only do I sins, but I like it and am proud of it. I do think that those so-called sins all lead to physical, mental or emotional gratification.

In this world where the strong dominate the weaker mind, why should we love our enemy? If we love them does that not place us at their mercy? I think we should show kindness to those who deserve it, love strongly and completely those who deserve our love, but never turn the other cheek to your enemy.

The moral standard as been imposed as a way to pacify the world population for many years. Through conformity, it’s much easier to control the population. Morality is a code of conduct held to be authoritative in matters of right and wrong. But, what is right and wrong?

And always remember, conformity is the death of the soul.

Girls and their interests

I have been looking at hundreds of girls over Internet and I must admit that I am kind of disconcerted by how similar they all are, yet so different from me. Everyone seems to share the same interests such as: going out to restaurant, watching a movie, listening music, reading book, meet friends, participate in show and festival. Some time I even wonder why they bother to write those!

Now, there is of course different type of girls, such as: sportive (who like sports and competition), outgoing (extrovert, have lot of friends and like going out in bar, dance & karaoke), nature (like camping, long hike), artistic (like arts, such as painting & drawing), traveling (like to travel and explore new place, usually at least one per year), marginal (no matter what they want, it’s different from anyone!) and of course, the “normal” girl (which like a bit of all and usually want a serious relationship to form a family). Outgoing and “normal” girls are probably the most common one. However and fortunately, not everyone can be categorized in one of those stereotypes.

Out of everyone, I think that I best get along with marginal and artistic girls. Also, while rare, any introvert girls that trend to like Japanese animes while likely share many interests with me. Unfortunately, they are the rarest and often the hardest to approach. Marginal, some time being seen as “outcast” of the society, usually have there own circle of friends. However, they are the most interesting persons to meets. They are imaginative, creative, unconventional, open minded explorers of the inner self.