Sissi, The Princess

I will now talk about Sissi, one of my best friend and our little princess! To me she looks like an anime characters lost in our world, trying to find her way back home.

She is a great friend that unfortunately lost her self-esteem some time ago. But first, I would like to tell you about how great she is! This girl is always smiling and confronts even the worse situation with optimist approach. She is very funny and has a great humour sense as well. She is very friendly, generous and peoples easily feel comfortable around her. She also has a great imagination!

She is very skilled in drawing manga characters and loves Disney movies and books. She also like princess, cute things and anything pink! She likes to go out and meet her friends but have hard time to make up her mind about her wants and desires. She likes to chat, dance and talk with friends even if they got nothing to say! I do think that she is more social than she think.

That being says, our little princess is suffering from low self-esteem. Unfortunately, this is leading to other trouble such as heavy anxiety, shyness and inability to take proper decision for her well being. This also led to major insomnia which drain a lot of her energy and only make the matter worse as she eat during the night.

In the end, she only wishes to recover her lost self-esteem and fight her anxiety so she can finally feel good about herself and her surrounding. Living each seconds with passion, energy and determination.

Dear little princess, everything is related but you really need to raise your sleeves and seriously grasp the situation. Your self-esteem directly comes from your beliefs, your beliefs about what you think you need to do or who you need to “be” in order to be a person of worth. The most frequent domains in which people frequently derive their self-worth are:
- Virtue
- God’s love
- Support of family
- Academic competence
- Physical attractiveness
- Gaining others’ approval
- Outdoing others in competition

If you base your self-esteem only in a specific domain, it will leave you more vulnerable to negative events that happen to you within that domain.

As for your eating-disorder, this is called binge eating and can lead to depression and lost of self-esteem as you feel guilty. First, you should avoid doing any diets during the day. Fix yourself a schedule and eat 3 times (breakfast, dinner and supper) per day. Make sure that you have everything you need or want during your day meal, including sugar, salt and fat substance.

This is not much but I do hope that it will help our sweet little princess to combat her demons!

Be well dear,

Dan, The Cursed

Today, I decided to talk about one of my best friend, Daniel D’Amico. I must admit that he is not feeling well right now but I wanted to devote this little blog to him.

He is a great friend that is always here to help you when you are in need. However, life is not always fair; in fact, it’s not fair at all. Some time even the best guy finish last and that is the story of his life. However, I would like to first talk about who he is.

Dan is very friendly, social, helpful and resourceful guy. Like me, he got a great sense of humour, open mind and likes to try new things. He is interested in pretty much everything, but he really like to share some times with his friends, role playing games, medieval live events, karaoke, animes and meet new girl. *Chuckles* He is very skilled with computers and its ingenuity allow him to fix most technical issues quickly.

He got a great sense of honor, perhaps a bit to great in fact. He is suffering heavily from his pride. He can be quite stubborn sometime and his pride often leads him to decision that he will regret later. I would describe him as he a mortal that want the power of the god. Because of this, he always strives for the very best. However, this constantly leads him to deception. He wishes for the impossible and the perfection but at the end nothing is perfect.

One side of him wishes to control everything but in reality what he is really seeking is to be accepted by his peer. My dear friend, please know that no amount of power and perfection will ever make you happy. It’s the defects and imperfections of our existence that make our life so colourful and enjoyable. Money and power can makes you famous or popular but true friendships are created with trust and love.

I do hope that you will be able to remove this curse with time. Our ego is and will always be our greatest nemesis.

Please take care of yourself old friend,

Dream Girl

Today I will talk about what attract me the most about girls. First of all, I don’t really like standard blonde girls. I prefer intellectual looking girls with glass.

I really love red hair. I also love exotic colors like pink or purple (or anything you would dare to put in their hair).

I prefer girl that are smaller than me in general. Also, like any guys, I prefer them thin but not too thin either. I like when there is some meats too! *Chuckles*

The visage is one of the most important aspects for me. Their smiles… and eyes… are very important.

I also like piercing, tattoo and anything that allows some expressions of oneself.

I wonder if there is such dreamy girl out there waiting for me… *Dreamy eyes*

Good versus Evil

I already started to talk about this in a previous blog but some might wonder; why be nice and gentle when it’s often easier to can get what you want by being egoist with lie and deception?

The first thing that would come to my mind would be the consequence of your action. When you are taking the dark path you are usually taking greater risk in order to achieve greater reward. A thief that steals a bank can get very rich, but will it succeed? There is always a risk and some consequences as well. What happen if someone find out that you lie your whole life about something he hold dear?

The next one, regret and guilt, is probably the greatest mental threat and is often related to consequence that might happen. No matter if the karma exists or not, everything you do will stay imprinted in your subconscious. Some might like this feeling but most will feel guilty their whole live even for a minor actions.

Now, if you can take the consequence and guilt of your action, be my guest and do it. After all, we only have one life. The most important thing is to have no regret no matter what happen. *Grins*

What I dislike!

I certainly cannot name everything I dislike here... but I sure can name some of them that come in my mind.

I do think that everyone hate lie and illusion... and so do I. However, the world is full of them so their existence is a fact of the life. Sadly, not much can be done to prevent that but to try to be aware of our surrounding.

While I am honest and responsible for my action, I dislike any kinds of obligation and limitation. I am like a fighter of freedom, a dreamer and idealist. I think that everyone is free to do anything they want and are only limited by fact, their perception and the consequence of their actions.

Another thing I dislike is expectation. I think that everyone action should be done because they really want it instead of expecting something to happen. I also believe that human should respect what they have already and learn to live their present moment. Otherwise you are bound to meet deception one day or another.

I also don’t like people that don’t respect, easily judge, racist, not tolerant, and cannot live in harmony with their peers. I believe that each human are unique but equal.

Oh, and one more thing, I dislike turnip and most legumes!

Some more Interests!

Last time I talked about the thing I love. So I wanted to expend it with the things that really interest me.

As a dreamer I am very interested in fantasy, such as elf, air ship and dragon. I am fond of medieval time, like castle and knighthood. I also like what is considered dark and gothic, such as vampire and occultism.

I like technology and science-fiction and have a good affinity with computer in general. I like various games, but mostly role playing game.

But what I love more than anything else are… sexy girls! *Chuckles*

Perhaps there is something that I love?

I was thinking about this… I often dream of the impossible but… I do think there are a few things that I like that are possible! Now, what are those things?

I like… to laughs! I really do, I don’t know what I would do if we were not able to smiles and laughs. I like funny movie and various comedies on TV. However, I dislike everything that is too serious, which of course include drama movie and such.

While I dislike going outdoor alone or in large party, I must admit that I like to share some times with my best friends. I like to receive compliment and approval from those I love. I like to share some interests with my friends or simply try new things! I like to be able to talk to a friend that I trust and being able to say anything I want while knowing that it will never break our friendship.

I also like to cuddle with someone I love. I love pretty and sexy girl. I love sex and to experiment new things! To be told that I am loved and of course to say how I love someone.

I really like anime and manga arts. Sometime, I wish I had skill to draw them!

And of course, I like everything that is fantastic, occult, and mysterious! I like to unravel the main plot of a movie or a game for example. I don’t like when the story is too cheesy or lack of originality.

That all for today folks!

To you dear readers

Today I will talk about you. Yes you heard me well! I would like to thank you all for coming on my little blog. I never had that many visitors! Thank you do much for taking your time to share my pain and thought. Life is far to be easy, it require courage and hardship to fully experience it. We all must do our best, be positive and good thing will happen!

I have been writing all kinds of stuffs, some darker than others, and worry not for as long as I will have some thoughts to share, I shall continue to write them here! Once again, thank you all for coming. I love you all very much and wish you a good reading!

XXX

Looking for a Muse

I decided to post a little ad about the kind of girl that would really love to meet. The truth is that I really love girls so I love to write article about them! *Chuckles*

I like independent yet caring girl. Sexy, mysterious, a bit mischievous and roguish as well that doesn’t hesitate to speak their mind and do what she like when she wants. I am looking for one which we could share a bound of complicity. I firmly believe that woman is complementary to men, not their opposite.

One that love to laughs and smiles. Understanding and being able to take the worse things with a positive attitude, or at least try to. Able to admit their own weakness, for no one is perfect and that is the beauty of it. A girl that isn’t afraid of the dark, to try new things, with a great imagination and open mind.

I don’t want her to be chained to me. I want her to be free like a bird, do whatever she wants, anytime she wants. Of course, she would be reliable enough so we can trust each other! Hopefully, she would accept my quality as well as my shortcoming as I do for her. I really dislike feeling like a weight!

*Dreamy eyes* I really wish I could meet such wonderful girl friend! Perhaps one day! Who know what the future hold for us?

The Duality of my Heart

In my eternal pursuit of my inner self, I found out something quite interesting, yet obvious. It’s called the duality. I have two sides in my heart, a light side and a dark side. Most of my thought on this blog do come from my darkest side. However, this also means that you are only seeing half of my true self as I also have the light side.

Now, I do believe that both sides are important. In fact, my dark side could not exist without my light side and vice versa. It’s a fact that I am attracted by both good and bad things. Humans mind is very complex, we often pursuit thing we dislike or that are unhealthy for us. Some peoples like to hurt themselves, yet we often wonder why.

Need and pleasures are different for everyone, and that is what that is making everyone unique, yet interesting. Personally, I cannot imagine my heart without light or darkness. It would be so... dull, empty and uninteresting. What every humans need to continue to strive are passions, passions are born both from the mysterious darkness and the hope of light.

Darkness or evil, can often been seen as our egoist side. While light or good, would be our altruism side, the desire to do something for the greater good. We need to respect others and live in harmony with those around you (light), yet follow our heart and desire and live the present moment at its fullest (dark).

Some will tilt toward one side or another. As for me, I am probably more on the dark side. However, I understand how important they both are and aren’t afraid to explore any of them.

It’s important to note that no matter who we are, we are bound to meet deception one day or another. However, I believe that in better understanding oneself, we can avoid much mindless pain and sorrow.

A Walk in the Park

Tonight, I decided to follow Nerma advice and went out of my house to the nearby park. The first thing I noticed was how cold the wind was but I decided to move forward.

The park was well decorated with Christmas lights everywhere in the trees and small huts. There was some music in the background as well but otherwise was pretty much empty. So I decided to continue my walk and moved to the next park which was a bit farther.

When I arrived, the place was pretty dark, cold and barren, like my heart. So I sited on a swing, lost in my mind, I stayed there for about 15 minutes. I was thinking about all and nothing, but probably more of the later. I could barely see the moon through the cloud as I was looking at the sky. As the cold wind was caressing my skin I finally decided to move out of here. This place was way too depressing; it was cold and made me feel even more lonely!

So I decided to go back to home. I must admit that I was happy to find the warm and comfort of my house. Going out alone at this time of the years is really not for me!

Magic, where are you?

I really wish that magic would exist in our world. I would fly from place to place and live a care free life. I would create anything I want just with my sheer thought! And, I would travel through time to see things that no one ever seen.

Yes, that would be so sweet… I would be a trickster, disappearing when people less expect it. Would I use my power for the greater good, my friend or myself? Well, probably all of them!

When I would be bored, I would create some illusions to distract me and I would summon some creatures to clean my house! *Laughs*

Of course, if someone would dare to mess with me, I would send him in another plane of existence for a few years, so he can think about it. *Evil laughs*

*Thinks* I wonder how long it would last before I really got bored thought. Also, having everything I ever wanted, what else I would do?

A Sick Angel

Dear little angel, I hope you are resting well. As you are currently sick, I would like to send you all my energy in order to help you to recover as fast as possible. I hope that you will think about me as well during your rest.

I only wish I could be there to take care of you. Until we meet again. To you that try to heal my black heart, I wish you happiness.

Some Thoughts for my Angel

I must admit that my soul did find some peace after you left. I really enjoyed talking with you and hope that we will do it again soon. The positive energy that you emit is simply amazing. It looks like that no matter how difficult a challenge is for you, you never despair. You keep it up and always do your best.

I.. I never saw someone with such powerful positive energy. You remind me of Belldandy, a wonderful and ever cheerful goddess in “Oh My Goddess!”. Just like you, she is lovely, caring and always gets what she wants. *Grins*

None have been that far to help me… Sometime I wonder why are you doing this for me. We are completely different and don’t share any interests either. Yet, you are giving all your energy just so my soul can get some rest. When you say that you would think about me even during your sleep it really touched me. I will think about you as well.

For that I would like to thank you. Thank you for everything.

A Little Angel

Today I gonna talk about my friend Nerma. She is like a little angel trying to help me. Our thoughts are very different but it doesn’t matter for her. She is incredibly positive and firmly believes that I can enjoy thing like anyone else.

She is not afraid by the darkness of my heart and is ready to confront them head on. She love to laughs, is very social, understanding and likes to make new friend too. At the end, we both want the same thing; enjoying every seconds of our live to its fullest.

She often talks to me about another world, her little world where everything is beautiful. Tell me sweet little angel, does this heaven really exist? Will I ever see it?

Will you be able to help me where everyone else failed?

Only time will tell, until then let’s keep hope.

La Sexualité

Alors que je me demandais quel bon sujet je pourrais choisir pour aujourd’hui, je me suis dit, pourquoi ne pas parler de sexe ? Ca fera changement à mes ténèbres qui me hante continuellement et ca entre un peu dans le contexte général du blog.

Des fois le monde ne réalise pas a quel point le sexe est un élément important non seulement dans la relation de couple mais également pour la sante mental de l’individu. C’est également un élément fortement médiatisé de nos jours. Pratiquement impossible de trouver une belle photo de personnage sexy sur Internet sans avoir une fille complètement tout nu quelques part dans l’image !

Sur Internet on y retrouve toute sorte de sites. Certain pourront même choquer certain d’entre vous. D’autre part, il ne faut pas ce le cacher, s’il y a autant de pornographie sur Internet c’est qu’il y a une certaine demande.

Il est également bon de noter que le sexe a souvent été considérer comme un sujet tabou, particulièrement a cause de l’église qui cherchais à contrôler la population. Mais lorsqu’on n’y pense, notre sexe n’est qu’une partie de notre corps comme les autres. Et à moins que ca sois au dépend d’une autre personne, le fait d’avoir du plaisir n’est certainement pas mal.

Je ne dis pas qu’il faudrait médiatiser le sexe encore plus qu’il l’es, mais je ne pense pas non plus que ca devrais être vu comme quelques choses de mal. Je pense aussi que le monde ne devrait pas hésiter à en parler avec leur partenaire car c’est un aspect qui est important dans une relation durable.

Personnellement, j’adore tout ce qui est sensuel et séduisant. Il ne fait aucun doute que j’adore les femmes, leurs silhouettes, leurs traits fins, leurs sourires, leurs courbes... Par contre, je pense qu’il est important dans un couple que les partenaires ce trouve attirer l’un a l’autre autant au niveau physique qu’intérieur.

Honnêtement j’ai trouvé beaucoup de belle image d’anime très sexy que j’adorerais mettre sur ce blog, mais je pense qu’ils sont légèrement trop osé pour les mettre pour l’instant. Peut être une autre fois ! *Sourit*

Le Retour de la Bête

Le démon observe la lune rouge puis rugit puissamment. Tous pouvaient ressentir sa fureur. Ils savaient ce qu’il allait arriver mais personne ne pouvez les protéger. La bête s’avance alors tranquillement dans la rue ricanant alors que le monde hurle et cour dans toutes les directions.

Le démon pli ses jambes puis d’un simple saut ce rend devant un homme qui tien un sac d’épicerie. Paralyser par la peur, l’homme échappe son sac alors que la créature l’examine de ces yeux vicieux. L’homme ce retourne afin de courir mais les immenses griffes perforante de la bête déchire son torse, telle une faucheuse.

Le corps tombe au pied du démon, ce vidant rapidement de son sang alors que la créature lèche ces longues griffes ensanglanté. Son regard percent se retourne rapidement vers une nouvelle proie. Le carnage ne fait que commencer… mais finira t’il un jour ?

The Irony of Life

Life is, if anything, very ironic to me. This is actually quite simple. I believe in the philosophy that we call hedonism. I think that pleasure is the only thing that is good for a person. However, I am also suffering from anhedonia, the inability to derive pleasure from experiences that are typically considered pleasurable.

So basically, it feels like I am in stasis, stopped in time, waiting forever for something that is never coming. No wonder I am getting tired and bored of this game. How much longer I will have to wait before I can enjoy the life like everyone else? 1.. 2.. 5 years? *Sighs*

I sure hope it will be worth the wait.

The Perfect Girl Friend

My perfect girl friend would be like… Etna from Disgaea! Mysterious, wicked but caring with those she like. Ready to backstab you but all for the good cause of course! *Chuckles* Be sure she like you, because she is very vengeful and stubborn. You definitely want her on your side!

She is cute, yet devilish at the same time. I love her eyes, catty mouth and pointy ears. Red hair to boot! A bit impulsive and self confident, you are sure that no matter where you go, you are in for some actions. I might add that I love her clothing as well, very sexy! She does have a small breast, but I think that go very well with the character.

The Wicked Smile of my Heart

There are all kinds of thoughts going on my mind, always darker. Lately, I started to wonder how dark and obscure can my thought get. Is there any limit? What happen if I reach it? While I become crazy? Or perhaps I am already crazy?

It’s like a spiral going down in the deep of darkness. Creeping shadows all around me, the farther I move, the deeper I go with no way back. What worse, I often enjoy it! But at the end you are alone in your little world.. *Sighs* It probably would not be that bad if people could actually understand without judging my strange thought.

I often see myself as a smiling child with blood stain on his hands. I love the irony of the controversy. *Chuckles*

So, what is going on in my mind? Meheh! Let’s say that I have a… good imagination, and pretty creative mind. When something doesn’t please you, you think about something else! Then again and again, until you find something that might be pleasing. When you explored all the “good” things, you start to explore the other sides.

If something exists, it’s because somehow a human thought about it before you. As an egoist human creature, I do believe that human should do what they really want and live with no regret. Of course, there are all kinds of illegal and criminal act, and one should always be mindful of the consequence of his action.

That being says, I am often unconsciously attracted by some of the darker things, such as blood, darkness, occultism and various taboo. I also love everything that is gothic, pretty and sexy. Add to this my fatalism view on various things and you are sure to find someone that is pretty much…special.

No, my mind and heart do not fit in today society… But as long that the illusion holds, who care?

The Vampire Lament

I slowly wake up from my slumber. I yawn as I stretch my arms then open my eyes. Everything is gray around me. I take a peek at the window. I can see the world growing, evolving, people’s laughs and cries.

There are so many pretty things… so many colors. Why I cannot touch them? What is going on in this hollow heart?

I softly sigh before turning my back from this reality that isn’t mine. The soft song of sorrow slowly call me back as I close my eyes back to sleep..

Une Muse pour mon Cœur

Hier, j’ai ressentie un frison parcourir tout mon corps alors que j’ai pensé qu’un jour je pourrais ressentir le même plaisir de satisfaction que tous avons en nous. Puis, je n’ai pas dormie de la nuit. Mon cœur battant terriblement vite, probablement d’anxiété. Est-ce l’espoir que j’avais oublié depuis si longtemps qui resurgie? L’espoir d’acquérir cette joie de vivre? Cette petite lumière, cachée au fond des ténèbres?

Est-ce qu’un jour je prendrais part a cette réalité ? Gouter au plaisir de la vie, au plaisir que l’on ressent en voyant ceux qu’on aime, en ressentant le vent caresser notre peau, en explorant de nouvelle place et de nouveau lieu, en fessant part de a nouvelle expérience ou même en dégustant nos mets préférer…

Des fois, tout ce que l’on n’a de besoin ce n’est que d’une âme humaine proche pour nous comprendre et réchauffer notre cœur froid et vide. Une petite muse pour nettoyer les larmes de notre cœur.

J’en ai tellement hâte que chaque minute de mon existence me paraît être comme une éternité.